Carl Jung, the Swiss psychologist, and psychoanalyst is widely viewed as one of the pioneers of modern psychology. One of his most notable quotes is, “the greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”
What unmet needs, wounds, and unlived lives exist within me that I unconsciously project onto my children? And by doing so, define them in such a way that they either do not discover and spread their own wings or completely turn away from me, and thus are still defined by my unlived life.
What we are not aware of can govern us without our realizing it, and that is precisely how unlived lives continue to exist within us. The heroic act is to become aware of these unconscious energies (complexes). And let it be known that this is not a quick fix.
“What would happen to our lives, our world, if the parent could unconditionally affirm the child, saying in so many words: “You are precious to us; you will always have our love and support; you are here to be who you are; try never to hurt another, but never stop trying to become yourself as fully as you can; when you fall and fail, you are still loved by us and welcomed to us, but you are also here to leave us, and to go onward toward your own destiny without having to worry about pleasing us.”